Closets

Hurray for the end of last year. Now it's time to resurrect all the broken hopes, dreams, and goals long buried last spring just because the planet reached an arbitrary position around the sun.

My family and I went on a ski trip to celebrate New Year. Although that meant being close to people who would notice and control breakfast, lunch, and dinner to an unsettling extent. I became accustomed to a lack/minimal breakfast and no lunch save a piece of fruit sometime between waking up and dinner. I felt like a pig when I ate on their time, forced by social norms, and called "hungry" just because I ate when in fact I felt no hunger. But there was little I could do. My hunger works like an on/off switch--once my stomach feels a little relief with food, it wants complete liberation from hunger.

So I ended up eating more. And more. And felt disgusted with myself. When I returned to my house, I couldn't help but weigh myself. I knew it was expected, but I couldn't help but feel the grief when the numbers showed regression. The New Year relief with new hopes and dreams couldn't be more appreciated.

For Christmas, I received several new shirts. Although they were a little on the tight side, I love them and won't return them for a more fitting size. I needed to make room in my closet (aka, free up hangers--I feel like a pack-rat if the clothes are tightly packed, so limiting hanger count works). I found several clothes that could never be worn again (size, fashion, decaying), but also tried on many I've not worn for weeks/months. It's either my mind playing tricks or the truth I don't want to acknowledge--my clothes felt on the tight side. I take it as inspiration. I want to reach 115lbs by the end of January, which should already make my clothes feel looser.

Good luck people for your own New Year's goals! Skkai out.