Dang. I suck.

In terms of food, I have such horrible impulses. Like, HOLY CRAP WHY DID YOU JUST INGEST 65 GUMMY WORMS FOR A WHOPPING 2100 CALORIES WITHIN THE LAST HALF HOUR? Seriously! That's 1.3 POUNDS OF PURE SUGAR I INGESTED.

The smell of sugar is nauseating to me. Probably due to purging after binging on them countless times over the last few weeks. Usually, if I binge on gummy foods, it takes me four times as long to ingest that amount of gummies.

This is the same thing that happened to cereal almost a year ago. I binge on so much of it for such a short amount of time that now I can't stand the concept of eating cereal. Thinking about it makes me retch.

It's quite peculiar how my list of food aversions grows over the years. Here's a brief list and how it happened in no particular order:

• Jelly beans - ate an entire bag in one afternoon one summer in middle school. Ended up puking about two hours later.
• Cereal - Ate an entire 4 boxes in three days. Stomach and gut felt horrible.
• Apples - an apple was my entire lunch for about two years in high school. I hate eating them, but I will still force myself to eat them like a parent who forces kids to eat spinach.
• Cheese - Ate half a block of marble jack cheese on an empty stomach. I felt nauseous (didn't throw up) for about 18 hours afterwards. Can no longer eat cheese alone, but I can eat it with bread or crackers.
• Gummy worms (or other shapes) - Read first paragraph. Eating over a pound of that stuff in less than half an hour.
• Juice - When I realized that I ingested 800 Cal from lemonade during one family outing.
• Milk - Was eating the 4 boxes of cereal as mentioned earlier with milk. It's now only an ingredient for cooking.
• Instant ramen noodles - Eating four cooked blocks right before bed. Stomach was foul in the morning.
• Peanuts/mixed nuts - Eating a 5 pound jar of mixed nuts within 5 days.
• Potato chips - Eating almost an entire family-sized bag in one sitting. Self-loathing got me there.
• Muffins - Periodically, I'd eat a pre-packaged muffin for lunch in high school. And then I found mold growing inside, and I can't consider eating them anymore.
• Frosting - When I baked a cake, I had about a cup of frosting leftover. I didn't eat anything for about 12 hours, and then ate it all. Stomach wasn't pleased.
• Oreos - Shortly after the frosting incident, I could no longer bring myself to eat the frosting of oreos. I can still eat the cookie part, but I feel guilty for wasting all that frosting.

For a while, yogurt, peanut butter, and white bread were on there. I have overcome most of the food aversion reactions (like nausea), but I still tend to avoid them. Greek yogurt is actually sour enough that I can eat it without a problem, but I still have some hesitance for the regular, sweetened yogurt.

Hopefully, tomorrow I will be in complete control of myself and will avoid this tragedy in the future.