Thursday was such a good day. I was proud. But I think I restricted more than what I'm used to. Friday afternoon, my instinct kicked in and I craved food with a stronger drive than I could control.
In the last class of the day, my class decided to have a treat day with a few snacks and a movie related to the class subject. I exhausted my determination to not eat, and ended up grabbing some potato chips and two cookies from the treat table. And by some potato chips, I mean about 1000 Cal worth of decadence. I'm embarrassed, especially since it took place in a room of people. Unfortunately, that wasn't enough to satisfy my craving.
Upon returning home, I binged on sugary cereal, a banana, and random ingredients found throughout the kitchen. It was mindless, delicious, and nightmarish. I felt disgusted with myself for soiling my good work on Thursday. My binge mindset didn't clear up during dinner where I had way too many appetizers. If my stomach didn't hurt, I know I would have kept eating. Luckily, it wasn't as horrible as Christmas Eve, and I didn't follow my thoughts to purge it.
Saturday was less extreme as Friday. I had moderate cravings throughout the afternoon, but gave in to my raging sweet tooth in the evening. My tongue desired the taste of chocolate, so I attacked the chocolate fudge ice cream in the freezer. I didn't even have the dignity to scoop it into a separate bowl.
The last few days spurred me to take Sunday seriously. I feel like I can control my impulses for eating. I learned my limit of excessive restricting to avoid a binge the next day. I just hope that over time, my discipline will improve and I can reach my goal faster.
Hope things been going well, readers. Skkai's out.
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